I often worry about priorities and what is important in life. I make to-do lists; I get frustrated with myself when I don’t accomplish what I have deemed to be reasonable (and usually isn’t); I worry about little, minute details of life; I stress about almost everything. What does all that worry and stress and driven perfectionism accomplish? Do I actually think that I am always doing what is important?
In fact, I often feel like I have wasted my days. For instance, I spent almost three hours in Target this morning agonizing over the purchase of some baby clothes. Three hours! Are those clothes that important? Definitely not. But I certainly acted like they were. I spent 1/8 of my day worrying about them. I made them that important rather than focusing on things that are truly important (not the fifty-six cents I saved by using my 10% off coupon and carefully selecting the ideal baby dress).
This helped me realize that while I consciously have decided that I waste time stressing and worrying and being a perfectionist, I unconsciously have decided that those activities are important because I spend my life doing them. However, this is something that I want to change. I want to relax and be more flexible and spontaneous. And I want to enjoy my life more, after all, I am exchanging part of my life for everything that I do, so I should make it worthwhile.