On beauty in contrast


On life when I grow up

I get to grow up on May 8th, 2010.  Why then?  Because that is when I graduate from Bowling Green State University with a B.A. in English.  I get to become uncomfortable and face the real world.  School is all I remember ever knowing.  I’ve been in school since I was four or five in preschool.  And as stressful as it may be, I know how to deal with that stress.  So while pondering what I am going to do when I grow up and have real responsibilities, I pursued many different avenues, including grad school, different types of jobs, and different areas of the country that appealed to me.  Throughout the process, I realized that some ideas appeal because they are secure and comfortable.  I know how to deal with certain circumstances, such as school.  But I’m not really passionate about school.  I realized through this process what I am passionate about.  I allowed myself to admit what I really want to do with my life, as well as what I feel called to do with my life.  It has been a difficult journey.  Sometimes I fight against what I feel called to do.  I am afraid that I won’t be ok.  That I won’t be taken care of.  That my life will just be used and even abused.  But it won’t.  I will be more than fine.  I am going to pursue what I am passionate about.  I am going to pursue the dreams that I have had since I was little that have never disappeared, along with some new dreams that have appeared along the way.  I want to move to the Northwest and pursue writing.  That is my dream.  I also want to open a coffee shop at some point in my life, but probably not until I am a little older and more settled.  Right now, I want to be free to be me.  To pursue whatever dreams and passions God lays on my heart.  He will take care of me because He loves me.  So much more than I will ever be able to imagine.  🙂