I’m a nerd . . what can I say?

Writing helps me process and clear my mind.  I’ve journaled on and off since I was about twelve.  A little over a year ago, I began journaling on a daily basis.  It helps.  You see, a little over a year ago, I  suffered a permanent hand injury.  It ended my career as a pianist.  Suddenly.  Just like that it was over.  I couldn’t play like I used to.  At first, the doctors told me that it wasn’t permanent; however, my hand and wrist responded negatively to treatment.  The injury only worsened.  Finally, the doctor said that there was no injury, and he was mystified as to why I was in pain.  Well, I’m still in pain over a year later.  It’s permanent.  And yet, it’s nothing at the same time.  Regardless, I am no longer a piano performance major.  More imporantly, I can no longer express my thoughts and emotions through playing and music like I used to.  Journaling was and continues to be my attempt to express myself.

Journaling rekindled my love of writing.  I love to write.  I am the nerd who enjoys writing papers, at least for the most part.  Writing is the most effective way that I can communicate.  I can sort my thoughts.  Choose my words.  Explain myself thoroughly.  If you know me well, you have probably experienced the sometimes extreme frustration that I experience when trying to explain a concept, or even a story, verbally.  I’m not frustrated with anyone other than myself and my lack of effective communication.  Writing solves that problem.  Words flow so easily from my pen.  Or through my fingers as I type.   I don’t necessarily understand why I can write so much more easily than I can speak.  After all, I have to speak the same words that I would write.  But I can write.  Sometimes I can even write eloquently.  I think it is a gift.  Something that God wants to use.  And something that I want to develop.  Since I began to journal, my writing has definitely improved.  And I have become more confident as a writer.  It is all quite good.  And the best part?  I enjoy it.  Writing relaxes me.  It can be a release.  Writing calms me down.

My friends should appreciate my love of writing.  It spares them from having to listen to me ramble on and on about whatever thought I am pondering for the day – whatever concept I am finding intriguing.  Very few of my friends actually enjoy such conversations.  I value the friends who do.  I also love writing about any thoughts I deem pertinent.  Or at least thought out well enough to be beneficial to anyone outside of my head.

I’ve come to the conclusion today that I need to read even more than I already do.  (I’m an English major; I read quite a lot.)  I think that continuing to read will also improve my writing.  Being exposed to writers of different styles and time periods will help me be able to write for different audiences.  I think it should help me continue to develop my voice, which excites me.  I’m extremely excited about my writing.  It will definitely be a part of my future – part of God’s plan for my life.  I just don’t know the exact form yet. . .but I’m eager to explore.  The beauty of life is in the journey. . . so why rush to try to figure it all out now?

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