Writing helps me process and clear my mind. I’ve journaled on and off since I was about twelve. A little over a year ago, I began journaling on a daily basis. It helps. You see, a little over a year ago, I suffered a permanent hand injury. It ended my career as a pianist. Suddenly. Just like that it was over. I couldn’t play like I used to. At first, the doctors told me that it wasn’t permanent; however, my hand and wrist responded negatively to treatment. The injury only worsened. Finally, the doctor said that there was no injury, and he was mystified as to why I was in pain. Well, I’m still in pain over a year later. It’s permanent. And yet, it’s nothing at the same time. Regardless, I am no longer a piano performance major. More imporantly, I can no longer express my thoughts and emotions through playing and music like I used to. Journaling was and continues to be my attempt to express myself.
Journaling rekindled my love of writing. I love to write. I am the nerd who enjoys writing papers, at least for the most part. Writing is the most effective way that I can communicate. I can sort my thoughts. Choose my words. Explain myself thoroughly. If you know me well, you have probably experienced the sometimes extreme frustration that I experience when trying to explain a concept, or even a story, verbally. I’m not frustrated with anyone other than myself and my lack of effective communication. Writing solves that problem. Words flow so easily from my pen. Or through my fingers as I type. I don’t necessarily understand why I can write so much more easily than I can speak. After all, I have to speak the same words that I would write. But I can write. Sometimes I can even write eloquently. I think it is a gift. Something that God wants to use. And something that I want to develop. Since I began to journal, my writing has definitely improved. And I have become more confident as a writer. It is all quite good. And the best part? I enjoy it. Writing relaxes me. It can be a release. Writing calms me down.
My friends should appreciate my love of writing. It spares them from having to listen to me ramble on and on about whatever thought I am pondering for the day – whatever concept I am finding intriguing. Very few of my friends actually enjoy such conversations. I value the friends who do. I also love writing about any thoughts I deem pertinent. Or at least thought out well enough to be beneficial to anyone outside of my head.
I’ve come to the conclusion today that I need to read even more than I already do. (I’m an English major; I read quite a lot.) I think that continuing to read will also improve my writing. Being exposed to writers of different styles and time periods will help me be able to write for different audiences. I think it should help me continue to develop my voice, which excites me. I’m extremely excited about my writing. It will definitely be a part of my future – part of God’s plan for my life. I just don’t know the exact form yet. . .but I’m eager to explore. The beauty of life is in the journey. . . so why rush to try to figure it all out now?